Lily

She was about three years old, her black hair in little ponytails, her dark eyes cloudy and unseeing. Like the other children, she was dressed in several layers against the cold of the unheated second floor playroom. She moved around just slightly clumsily.

The junior high students in the room gravitated away from her to other toddlers, wanting to be involved in our church's day long service project at this rural orphanage, but unsure of how to handle the blind child.

She had a hat in her hands, kind of a funny pointed hat for playing dress-up games. She passed it from hand to hand, and pushed it against furniture within her reach, manipulating it in a haphazard way.

I also was unsure of how to interact with Lily. I watched her for a few minutes, shy of her. I wished there was another child I could turn to, to distract me from Lily and her blindness, but the junior high students were engaging them all. Only Lily was alone.

Hesitantly I moved toward her. I gently took the hat from her hands and put it on her head. My English words had no meaning to her ears, but I began to talk to her, putting the hat on her head again as soon as she removed it, trying to make a game of it. She seemed pleased, smiling a little, and we played this way for several minutes.

I moved from my crouching position on the floor to sit in a little chair, child-sized. I guided Lily over toward the chair with me. She seemed to have tired of the hat game. Not knowing what to do next, I started to sing to her.

"Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are weak, but He is strong."

I don't know if Lily held my hands first, or if I took her hands, but after I sat down in the little chair and began to sing to her, we found ourselves facing each other and holding hands as I sang. Lily clearly enjoyed the singing. She began to slowly rock my hands back and forth to the music, just a little. I sang "Jesus Loves Me" over and over, and she almost seemed entranced by the sound. She was very still now, aside from the slight rocking, listening carefully. Her head was turned a little to the side, and she had a far away look in her blind eyes. I moved on to some other songs.

"Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
They are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world."

Sometime between "Jesus Loves the Little Children" and "Amazing Grace", Lily climbed onto my lap. This was completely unsolicited. She scooted up to me and laid her head right against my chest. She did it so quickly, she was snuggled up to me almost before I knew what was happening. I kept singing, not wanting to startle her or do anything that would break the mood.

The minutes passed, and I heard someone say that our bus would be leaving the orphanage in a few minutes. It was almost time to go. Still I sang. I didn't want to leave Lily. Her warm little body was feeling heavy against me, and I suspected that she had fallen asleep. I sang an old lullaby that my mom used to sing to me, that her mom used to sing to her.

"Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,
All through the night.
Guardian angels God will lend thee,
All through the night.
Soft the dreary hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I, my loving vigil keeping,
All through the night."

Finally it really was time to go. Someone else in the room went to find an ayi to take the sleeping Lily from me. The ayi lifted her little body away from me and carried her to a bed in the other room. For some reason, I didn't want to watch this. I didn't want to see if she woke up, disoriented. I hoped she would stay peacefully asleep. I didn't want to see sadness in her blind eyes. I wonder why? Am I a coward? The fact was that I wouldn't be keeping vigil all through the night. I had to go.

The warmth of Lily against me lingered as we walked down the stairs, out the door and to the waiting bus.

I wonder who is keeping vigil over Lily tonight.

Hangin' Out At Seeds Of Hope

Here are a few more photos from our time at Seeds of Hope Children's Home. Seeing these pictures makes me hope for a return visit to be with the children again. They sure made their way into our hearts quickly!

Caleb and a new friend shoot in tandem.These four girls worked for more than an hour creating this little scene from play-doh, even adding bits of cotton as snow on the roof and tiny tree. They were pretty pleased with the results! It was so interesting to see even older kids be so interested in the craft supplies we brought... Thumb wrestling match with Scott... so fun!

More play-doh creations...

Preparing the afternoon snack
See Gwenny in the middle of the group? She almost blends right in! Her skin was actually a few shades lighter than the local kids.

Showing some little ones how to make a paper lantern. Sandra, the mother of the home, is in the background.

Madelyn and friends creating things out of colored paper.

At first just one girl and I were doodling a bit with the colored chalk, but soon our doodle grew into a big, rainbow heart that this whole group wanted to be a part of adding to. This was right before we left on our last day at Seeds of Hope. I was not looking forward to saying good-bye to the kids... part of the reason this heart got so big! Maybe if we add one more color around the outside, I can stay a little longer...

Seth's Juggling Lessons

One of the afternoons we were at Seeds of Hope, Seth passed out tennis balls and gave an informal juggling demo and lesson to some of the boys. It seemed to be a big hit! Bringing the balls had been Seth's idea... so glad he thought of it. This picture shows the outside space the kids have to play in... Having one's tongue out seems to be key to proper juggling technique!

Faces From Seeds of Hope

A few of the beautiful faces at Seeds of Hope...

A New Child at Seeds of Hope

Yesterday afternoon we went back to Seeds of Hope. There was a darling little boy there in a striped polo shirt, tucked into dark blue jeans. He had big bright eyes. I recognized that he had not been there when we visited the day before. Sandra whispered to me, "A new child today." As I questioned her, I found that the woman with him was his mother, bringing him to the children's home because she must work and there is no one to care for him while she is gone.

I was incredulous. Could nothing else be worked out? Will she just leave him at Seeds of Hope during the day and come get him at night?
No. This is it for this mother and her very small son. He will live here now.

As it turns out, this is the case for many of the children not only at Seeds of Hope but also at the other children's homes in Indonesia. There is no free public education here, so a parent's best hope of helping their child have a better life than they do, is to send them to a children's home where they will be sent to school. The education costs for the children at Seeds of Hope are paid for by a church in Ohio somewhere...

Okay. So the parents can come visit their children here? Do they come often?

No. They can't afford the transportation. But at Seeds of Hope they try to take the children to see their parents twice a year.

Sigh. Sigh. So different from anything we can imagine.

I asked Sandra how the children adjust. It is as you might expect. It is very hard for them at first. But Sandra said she tells the children that she loves them, and that they will be able to get an education, and eventually they are okay.

As she and I were talking, I heard this new child crying. And crying. The mother had left. Sandra directed one of the older girls (did I mention that Sandra had a stroke several years ago and is herself disabled?) to go get the little guy. I watched her carry him around for a little while, and then bring him to the table to join the other children who were cutting colorful paper.

Free public education. What a concept.

Seeds of Hope

We're in Indonesia right now, on the island of Bali, for the Chinese New year holiday. It's a gorgeous place... warm, lush greenery, very tropical. We've been enjoying the beach and the the pool and the sun.

Yesterday our vaction took on a little different flavor. Part of the reason we came here this week was to go to Seeds of Hope children's home, an orphanage that houses about sixty children, ranging in age from three years old to twenty. The children all ran to greet us as we pulled up, calling hello and smiling hugely. They all wanted to shake our hands, and asked our names. It was a joyful welcome! They led us into a room with tables and chairs, where they all sat down while we met the couple who started the home nine years ago, a pastor and his wife. A group of the children played some local instruments for us... they were amazingly talented. Something about hearing "Amazing Grace" being played in a sweaty room by Balinese orphans... well, I know I cry easily, but it sure tugged at my heart. We learned that the children play in hotels several times a week to raise money for the orphange. After the music, we brought out some pipe cleaners and beads we had brought along... we had fun with those with all the girls and the younger boys for several hours! 1000 pipe cleaners became butterflies, spiders and spider webs, crowns, baskets, and when combined with the beads, lots of beautiful bracelets. Scott and our boys and the older boys played soccer, basketball, and catch with the football, all in a small cement courtyard.

The children were so happy. Maybe because of their wide range of ages, they seemed to be like a family. At one point Gwen fell and scraped her foot and knee, and one of the older girls took her and washed her and put bandaids on for her. Towards the end of our time there, we were all outside. Caleb was in a one-on-one basketball game with another boy. A big group of the kids watched and cheered for every basket made, on both sides. I stood with the girls and cheered. As I stood in that group of beautiful Balinese girls, with their black hair and skin several shades darker than Gwen's, I wondered if any of these kids would want to leave this home if they were given the choice. As far as I know, Indonesia is not open for international adoption right now. But maybe that's okay. These children are living in what we would consider a very bare bones environment- no AC, living right below the equator, is a big one for us soft westerners, and that's just the beginning of all the things they seem to be lacking. But Thomas and Sandra have created a family here, where the children are loved and are hearing the truth of the love of Christ. It's good.

We asked Sandra and Thomas if they need anything for the children. They're saving money for a railing on the third floor to be repaired. They need toothpaste and shampoo. Is that all? It seems like they need so much, to me. No, Sandra said, toothpaste and shampoo is all. So we'll stop at the Carrefour here on the island on our way back to Seeds of Hope this afternoon and get toothpaste and shampoo and maybe a new basketball or two. I'm all out of beads and pipe cleaners... maybe we'll draw together today. I wish there was a big project we could do for them and with them... we asked in several emails before we came, we asked again yesterday while we were there. But maybe this is okay. It's so good to be a tiny part of what Sandra and Thomas have given their lives to.

Do you ever wonder what you're doing with your life? Seeing Seeds of Hope has made me ponder... what else might God have for us?

Dad, Mom, Lynne, Mark & Sarah

My sweet family... I have lots more pictures to post from my brief time in the US last weekend, but they will have to wait. This afternoon I am going to Beijing with some women from our church for a weekend of scrapbooking for some sweet babies at an orphan healing home there. The little books we create for these children will be sent home with their forever families when they are adopted!