Friday, September 30, 2005

The Wait Continues... until next week

"Where are you, little girl? Your mom is looking for you."

This was posted by someone in our yahoo group, for all the people from our agency who are waiting for a referral this month. I identified completely!

Dreaming... and waiting

I'm starting to really feel this wait! At least when you're pregnant, you know you will give birth to a newborn! I sooo want to know how old Gwen is! Last night I dreamed about her all night long, it seemed. In part of the dream she was a first grader, and in another part she was about 6-7 months old and I was rocking her as she fell asleep.

I have a feeling we will not find out today... so we move to next week.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

In the Dark of the Night

Last night a little before midnight I pulled into my driveway, and under cover of darkness unloaded a crib from the car and brought it into our house. I chuckled to myself at how it seemed that I was trying to hide the fact that I was in possession of a crib. In truth I had picked it up from the Torgeson's house and had stayed to visit with Jo-Ann (Steve was away) until 11:30 p.m., putting me home at that very late hour.

I actually am very pleased to have a crib in our house again. Our original crib is in Philadelphia and is the sleeping spot for our nephew Caden. We gave it to Shann and Sarah when she was first pregnant, because we were sure we wouldn't need it again. There were Higher Ways at work... look at us, we need a crib! At least we think we will. In the next few days we should Know For Sure whether or not we really do. How old is Gwen, anyway?!

That's what I want to know.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

One left

In April the kids and I made a paper chain to count down the weeks until we would find out who Gwen is. At the time I wasn't sure exactly when our referral call would come... I thought it could be the end of August, but since I didn't know for sure, I counted the weeks until then and then added in a few more for good measure. Seth and Madelyn cut and taped to create a very long chain. We hung it high on the wall in Madelyn's room, next to her closet. I stood on a chair to attach it to the wall near the ceiling, and the end dragged on the ground. Every Sunday night since then we have removed one link. Sometimes the kids argued about who's turn it was to take it off. Slowly the end rose from the floor, but the time to get to the end of the chain still seemed a long way off. A few times when we've returned from being away, the kids have forgotten to remove a link to catch up, but I've left that week's link on anyway, just so we wouldn't run out of links before our referral came.

Today is Sunday. There are two links left. Madelyn and I discussed on the way home from church that we would take one off today, and then there would only be one left. I wonder if we'll need the last link. Will the referral call and precious FedEx package with pictures of our girl come this week? Or maybe we'll still be waiting next Sunday, and the last link will be removed before we see her face.

Bring on the week!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Revisiting the Quilt

This evening I decided to work on Gwen's quilt again. I wanted to stitch the corners of the binding down more tightly. I sat in the boys' room and worked on it while Scott began reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" to the kids before bed. It was a very nice combination, to be listening to the story and sewing. I read aloud to the kids so much throughout our school day, that actually being read aloud to is really a treat! Anyway, there I was, working on the quilt. After the chapter was finished, Caleb noticed and asked me what I was doing. I explained about the binding. Seth said, "I think you should keep working on the quilt until Gwen comes."

I like this idea. It makes me feel closer to her. It's really why I began the project in the first place, to be doing something to make me feel closer to her.

Last weekend our family went to southern Illinois to visit some of my dad's family, including his mother, who is nearly 97 years old. Gwen will be her seventh great grandchild, followed closely after by her eighth, Sarah and Shann's little girl coming in February. My grandma is pretty much a saint as far as I can tell, and I count it a privilege to be with her every time I get the chance. I had been writing to her about the quilt's progress over the summer, and took it with me to show it to her last weekend. Not only is she an amazingly faithful woman of God, but she is also a very accomplished seamstress and has tried and excelled at about every type of needlecraft there is. She kindly praised my quilt, overlooking the unmatched seams and instead commenting on how cozy the chennile pieces made it. I showed her how I had machine quilted around the inside of some of the quilt blocks, and did she think I should do more of them? Oh yes, it will strengthen the quilt if you do, she said.

So now I have more to do on the quilt. I'm glad, because Gwen's not here yet.

Two Girls

My sister Sarah found out yesterday that she will give birth to a GIRL at the beginning of February! Madelyn did a jumping dance down the hallway when she found out, shouting to Seth and Caelb, "It's a girl, it's a girl!" She also declared that the baby's name should be Lexi, after Aunt Sarah told her they hadn't decided on a name yet.

This morning as I walked I thought about my sister's daughter, whom we've never seen, and whose name we don't know yet. We do, however, know exactly where she is! The daughter Scott and I are waiting for we have never seen, and although we've chosen a name for her, she has one already and we don't know it. We know she lives in China, but that is a vast place... who knows where she is among the billion poeple who live there?

We will find out about this little daughter soon... I'm trying not to count down days, though, since we don't know a certain day yet when this life chnging phone call with our daughter's information will come. We think we know that it will be very soon. In a way, this is not unlike the last weeks of a pregnancy. We know Sarah's due date, but we don't know when we will actually see the face of the little Davis girl.

But we know Someone who knows both of these little girls inside and out, and He has His eye on them. In fact, He's holding them in His hand. I'm SO glad they are in His care!

I can't wait to meet them both!

Saturday, September 10, 2005


So, just out of curiousity, how many of you have mastered a foreign language? No, I'm not talking about one of those European languages, like Spanish or French. No, I mean a Really Foreign Language, like, for instance, CHINESE. Now that's a foreign launguage for you! Last night Scott and I put our "Language Aid for Adoptive Travelers in China" cd into the computer. Each slide is designed to teach a couple of phrases on a certain topic. Sample sentences are as follows:

"Excuse me, please, where is there a taxi?"
"I've lost my room key."
"I'm very allergic to monosodium glutamate."
(Really, this is one of the sentences the program teaches us to say!)

The phrase is spelled out in Chinese characters, pinion (which is the Chinese language spelled out in the English alphabet), English, and in English phonetically. A Chinese speaking person says the phrase in English, then about four times in Chinese, getting faster each time.

Can I just tell you that this language is SO foreign to me that I can barely even make out what they are saying even with it spelled out phonetically in front of me? I begin to despair of ever reporting my lost room key to the front desk clerk at the White Swan hotel.

But in truth, reporting a lost room key in China does not really concern me. Nor does finding a taxi. There will be interpreters with us pretty much all of the time to help with these types of things. No, the Chinese phrases I want to learn have nothing to do with getting around Beijing or ordering correctly at a restaurant with live eels in a tank that one may choose from for the evening's entree.

The phrases I want to learn came toward the end of the launguage learning aid program. They are sentences like:

"Don't cry. Mom is here."
"Come, little darling."
"I love you."

I think these are the ones I'll work on.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The day that wasn't The Day

So... The Call wasn't today. I had held out hope that it would be. We knew referrals were coming sometime this week, and I had emailed our agency on Monday with a plea for news of any sort. The reply that day said, "No babies in the fax machine today!" But this morning there was hope... Sharon at Children's Hope emailed me with the news that they were expecting referrals today, probably around 2 p.m. !!!! Wow! I hung expectantly but casually around the phone from 2 to 3, meanwhile helping Caleb through his math lesson, reading stories to Madelyn, listening to Seth practice violin, and folding laundry. I strained my ears for the sound of the phone ringing, my stomach feeling that excited, nervous feeling one gets before speaking in public. Finally a little after 3 o'clock, I checked my email. There was a note from Sharon telling me she was sorry, but ours didn't come today.

So. I tell myself that's it's really okay, this month was a long shot anyway. We only have one more month to wait, ours will most certainly be in the next batch, since we were right at the cut-off for this last one. But still there is disappointment, if only momentary. I had hyped myself up. Then, I remember my prayer at lunchtime, that we would be content with the events of the day. I had not told the children that there was a possibility that we would find out about their sister today. I'm sure that prayer flew by them unnoticed. But I had prayed it for me, knowing the chance of disappointment was real.

I know God's timing is perfect. Gwen will arrive when it is time for Gwen to arrive. And tonight, I will finish sewing the binding on her quilt.