Thoughts After Orphanage Visit

On Monday I went with a small group of women to a government orphanage here in Shanghai.  These women go every week; it was my first time.  I've been thinking about the experience these last few days, trying to make sense of it and wondering what I should do (if anything) now that I've seen this place.

I'm not sure how large the facility we went to is, as it seemed to be a part of a block of buildings.  It is down a little lane, not facing a main street.  It has a relatively nice front entrance.  It is several stories high.  I know that some of the children in this place have some type of special need, but I don't think they all do. 

I was sent to help in a toddler room, the other women went to a room down the hall.  The toddler room was filled with cribs, at least twenty, arranged in rows end to end.  There was a small area at the end with a table that appeared to be the work area for the care givers.  There were several children in a type of low wooden chair with a bar in front to keep them in.  I later realized they were tied into these chairs.  The rest of the children were laying on their backs in the cribs.

I was given no instructions other than to see where I could help.  I could not communicate with the Chinese care givers to ask them, so I just began going to the cribs one by one. The room was cold, but the kids were dressed in many, many thick layers, including coats.  I looked into the faces of these children, nearly all of them awake.  Some were whimpering, some crying loudly, others just looking at the ceiling.  I talked to them, stroked their faces, softly sang "Jesus Loves Me" over and over again.  I wiped tears away... my own.  I tickled a few of the babies and got a few smiles.

As I write about it now, it doesn't sound so bad.  The children were all safe.  They were warm enough.  They were well fed, in fact I was able to help with feeding them and witnessed the fact that although the food was spooned in by the care givers at an alarming pace and high temperature, it was certainly an ample amount.  I think what really got to me was the overwhelming boredom.  The children were laid on their backs in bed or tied in chairs by their arms.  The care givers took care of physical needs, but it did not appear to be anymore than that.

I later asked the women I came with if there were toys anywhere, or playtime.  Sounds like there is a playroom, but it is apparently deemed too cold by the care givers.  They don't want the kids to get sick, complicating their jobs, so they only take the children there in warmer weather. 

So all winter they wait.  They sit, tied in their chairs so they won't crawl out to explore.  They lie on their backs in bed, waiting only for their turn to be fed, changed or bathed. 

Why did this wreck me completely this week?  Why did it consume so many of my thoughts?  What does God want me to do now?  I was happy when it was time to leave the orphanage, but even while I was there I knew I would come again.

The first and greatest commandment is to love God with all my heart, soul and mind.  The second is like it, to love my neighbor as I love myself.  I know these little ones are my neighbor.  I know that Jesus says whatever I do for the least of these, I am doing for Him.  Loving Him, loving them, loving Him.  A circle of love.

I mulled this verse over and over this week, wondering if just showing up once a week and loving on these kids for an hour is enough.  What else can I do?  I have had lots of ideas.  Take a picture book to show them?  Bring mobiles to hang over cribs?  Bring a heater so some children can use the play area?  Just get one baby out to dance in my arms with me for a few moments?

I am still thinking.  I am praying for these little ones.  I can't forget their faces.  I am comforted by the fact that God sees and knows each one.

To Him this life is a moment, a breath, a vapor.

And then there's eternity.