Living Where I Am

Last night I dreamed about the half bath in our house in Chicago.  In my dream I had painted the small room a deep red. 

We haven't lived in our house in Chicago since we left it to move to Shanghai in early July, 2007.  In the past four plus years several different families have rented our house.  Families with children I've never met.  They've cooked in our kitchen, slept in our bedrooms, played in our backyard.

Although the transition to living in Asia wasn't without its struggles, we love living in Shanghai.  I've detailed some of the reasons why we love life here in other posts.  Suffice it to say, it will be difficult to leave the life we have here.  We know now that we will be leaving here next June, after five years.

Now that we have an end in sight, I'm beginning to think more about that house in Chicagoland that we left behind.  I really haven't thought about it much while we've lived here, except when the stove there is on the blink or a pipe is leaking.  The necessity of having the house in working order for the renters has claimed a hour or two of my attention a few times a year, but not much more than that.  But recently I've found myself online browsing how to paint kitchen cupboards.  I've contemplated furniture arrangement for the family room.  I've wondered about my perennials in the garden next to the garage.  I've thought about painting the half bath and the bedrooms. 

We've heard from the property manager that the house is "wearing evenly".  We've chuckled about what that must mean, and feel certain that after multiple families with multiple small children, it surely means the already worn carpet will likely need to be replaced when we move back.  We know that an ornamental tree by the front porch blew over in a storm a few years ago.  The roof was needing to be replaced before we moved to China, as was the asphalt driveway.  These projects will need attention when we get back to our house.

But we still have most of a school year left in China.  Our move is not immanent.  We have kids' sporting events to attend here, and school music programs to enjoy. We have new friends to get to know better, friends who are just beginning their Shanghai adventure.  We have small groups, Bible studies, men's breakfasts.  Caleb has one more SAT to sit for, college applications to complete, and graduation festivities coming in the spring.  We have walks and bike rides yet to take.  We have visitors coming here, both this fall and next spring.  There is still growing up to do in Shanghai.  There is a little more Asia travel in the offing.  There are more babies to be a part of helping find families for, through Baobei Foundation.  There is work to do.  In short, God willing, there is a lot of life yet to be lived in Shanghai.

So I don't want to be too hasty or premature in thinking about our old home in Chicago.  It's tempting to let the decorating I haven't been able to do for these China years creep into more and more of my thoughts.  It's easy to spend too much time thinking about what will come when this time here is over.  But then it will be over.  Scott and I have discussed this issue several times, this idea that we don't want to write this year off, to operate as if we already have one foot on the plane back to the US.  We want to live this last year here fully.  It's easy to look ahead.  Sometimes for me, it requires more discipline to live in the now.  The pastor of our church in Chicago used to frequently say, "Wherever you are, be there."

I'm going to be in China this year.  Remind me, if you hear me thinking ahead too much, that what's coming will come all too quickly.  I don't want to miss this year.  I want to live here fully.

Painting the half bath can wait.  I do like the idea of deep red, though...